Keeping up appearances
by Leafy2
Summary: Tala’s finding life difficult. Is there anyone he can turn to, more importantly, will anybody notice in time. KaiTala
1. Another day

Hiya, another Tala x Kai story is here. I hope everyone enjoys it. Oh and I don't own beyblade.

Tala sat, crossed legged in the middle of his double bed and stared out of his second floor window. It was snowing, again. He always did like the snow. He began to contemplate going out in it, maybe to have a walk but it felt like his mind was severed from his body. He couldn't will himself to move. He felt disconnected.

A quiet sigh filled the chilly room but Tala didn't mind the cold, it has we who had opened the frost-laced window to begin with. He gazed longingly outside, his icy blue eyes sparkling, watching the delicate snow crystals intertwine, just out of his reach, just like everything in his life at the moment and he once again wished to be anywhere but here, in this room, in this house.

He felt the sudden urge to get out, to flee but he knew there was no point in that, after all, he was free. He had his own room, he lived in a house provided by the BBA with his teammates and Kai's mansion was within walking distance but that didn't prevent him from feeling restricted. His therapist had told him that these emotions were to be expected from somebody who had been through what he had at the Abbey, what his team had been through but Tala seemed to be the only one effected. All of the other guys, hell even Bryan seemed content with their lives but Tala felt out of place and worst of all, he didn't know why.

At the moment, all he wanted was to be alone, to lie on his bed and to do nothing, he wanted time to sort through his emotions, a chance to make things right and he was so tired. So very tired.

His therapist had suggested that maybe he was lonely. Tala had replied that how could he possibly be lonely when he shared a room with three other people, three people who were constantly surrounding him. If anything Tala felt like he was being smothered. Not just physically, mentally too.

He was constantly under pressure to be the best team captain that he could be, at making sure his team were happy, that they were doing all of their training properly and that they were being challenged enough to reach their full potential. Tala found himself daily wishing that he had never been appointed leader. He found the whole concept ludicrous as it were.

Why was he chosen?

What qualities did he possibly have to offer?

Spencer was the oldest, the most mature, the most intelligent and Bryan was the strongest and most intimidating, not to mention older than himself. Why couldn't one of them have been captain?

Tala always speculated how on earth Bryan, Spencer and Ian had accepted him to lead them but they did. They even came to him with their problems, even Spencer who was three years his senior but who could he go to with his problems? Certainly not his team and defiantly not Kai.

Sometimes he wanted to shout that he was hurting, that he needed help so desperately but everytime he tried to say anything it was as if he were being gagged, he would open his mouth but no words would come out.

Emotions bombarded him that were so strong they left him feeling shaken, like a flame wavering in the wind and like that flame, he was afraid that soon he would be the one to go out.

Tala closed his eyes and shook his head in frustration. Fiery red hair hovered around his face, brushing against his skin. He lifted a pale hand and swiped the offending locks away. He hadn't bothered styling his hair this morning, it just felt like too much effort.

What was the point anyway? He was just going to wash out the hair gel the next morning, which is why today he let his hair stay naturally, hanging around him like a veil, softly tickling his neck. Tala guessed that he probably looked stupid, after all he was giving the guys even more leverage at pointing out how feminine he looked but he was sick of keeping up appearances. He wanted to be himself, besides Tala thought with a small grin. If they did decide to call him girly, to his face atleast, then they would be facing one hell of a training programme, snow or no snow.

He supposed that he ought to be getting up. It was almost noon and he still hadn't made an appearance. Over the last couple of weeks he had noticed Bryan and Spencer keeping a closer eye on him, more so than usual, he didn't want them to start worrying about him, and he sure didn't need to be babied.

Oh well, Tala thought, it's just another day. He leaned across the bed to his nightstand and opened one of the bedside draws. Curling one hand round a small, brown, bottle, he used the other to pick up his glass of water. He hadn't realised before just how thirsty he was, after taking a big gulp he then balanced the glass precariously on his red bed spread. Making sure not to upset the waters balance, the red head carefully removed the lid from the bottle and skimmed through the instructions printed on the side.

Blah, blah……. One in the morning, one in the evening……..Take pills before a meal………….Do NOT exceed 2 a day.

Holding the bottle he shook the pills into his out stretched hand. Counting out four of the little blue and white capsules he quickly popped them into his mouth and Swallowed them with his water.

Maybe by increasing his dosage the medicine might begin to work faster.

A little voice in the back of his mind scolded him for being so stupid. You were only supposed to take one. Tala dismissed this with a shrug.

The doctor Mr Dickinson had made them all see had diagnosed him with depression, hence the antidepressant pills he had just taken. Nobody else knew, excluding himself and the doctor but Tala had a fleeting suspicion that Dickson had been notified.

After putting the pills back into his draw, Tala forced himself of the bed, walking to the window; he took one last glance outside, idly noticing that Kai's car was parked in the driveway before closing it, the glass making a loud bang as it shut.

Tala then grabbed his white and red jacket off the floor where he had unceremoniously dumped it the night before and pulled it on over his long sleeved black t-shirt. Glancing at his passing appearance on the lifesized mirror propped against one of the walls he swiftly exited the room, ready to start another day.

Tanks for reading, please review. The next chapter will be coming soon.


	2. Coffee?

Thank you to everyone who reviewed. I love reading about what you guys thought of my story.

Disclaimer: I don't own beyblade

Well, on with chapter two. I hope everyone likes it.

Tala slowly trudged down the stairs. He could here the sounds of Spencer and Ian's bickering drifting along the corridor and he guessed that they were probably playing on their newest games console. What else would a Blitzkrieg boy be doing when their captain wasn't around? Definatly not house work and certainly not training. At least now Tala knew whom he could rely on when he wasn't dishing out orders. That's right, no one. Oh well, he thought, let them play, just because he was miserable it didn't mean that they had to be too.

Reaching the bottom of the oak staircase Tala headed left down the hallway towards the kitchen. The hall was decorated by a vast supply of windows and Tala found himself unconsciously gazing out of one. So I was right, he thought, Kai's car is parked outside. The arial of Kai's pride and joy was peaking out over the freshly settled snow. He'll be lucky to drive back home tonight; the snow doesn't seem to be stopping anytime soon.

A fierce howling of wind pierced his current wave of thought and Tala pulled his jacket tightly around his lithe form as he continued toward the kitchen. The lights flickered dangerously for a couple of seconds but Tala thought nothing of it, Power cuts were a common occurrence in this house, especially with their current weather conditions but for once Tala would have welcomed the power failure with open arms as the lights were beginning to give him a rather unpleasant headache. He felt like someone had just taken a hammer to his temple and his head was throbbing. Gritting his teeth slightly he wearily came to the conclusion that he needed painkillers and he needed them now.

He knew that taking even more medicine wasn't the best of ideas but how much damage could it really do? After all, he was practically dying here and he didn't think that it was possible for him to feel any worse than he already did right now.

Tala pulled himself away from the window and hastily made his way toward the archway that would lead him to his destination. Passing into the kitchen the first thing he noticed was that both Bryan and Kai were quietly sipping what seemed to be coffee at the kitchen table, well, Tala thought. It certainly did smell like coffee. The musky aroma was circulating around the square shaped room and was accomplishing in making Tala thirsty once again, although coffee wouldn't be his first choice of beverage, to be honest he rather preferred tea. The two bladers were sat across from each other and both seemed to be locked in the middle of a silent conversation. They also seemed oblivious to Tala's sudden appearance.

Seems like another typical day then, the blue, eyed boy sighed inwardly. Kai is once again ignoring me and Bryan seems to be oblivious. They only ever notice me when they feel like it. A cloud of sadness seemed to suddenly descend upon him, surrounding him, choking him. It was like suddenly walking into a wall of fog. Everything else around him seemed to blur, to bend. It was as if Tala was being consumed by the dark and the light was only a ghostly flicker in the distance.

Tala took a deep breath, mentally scolding himself for his brief loss of control. Calming himself down, he shot a glance at the rooms other occupants, neither seemed to have noticed his sudden change in behaviour so he swiftly made his way towards the medicine cabinet. Choosing the strongest painkillers he could find he unscrewed the lid, grabbed two of the dusty white pills and popped them into his mouth, swallowing them dry. Grimacing at the bitter taste he strolled towards one of the free, high-back wooden chairs, pulled it out from under the table and slumped in it, resting his head in his hands.

Tala remained sitting in the chair half lying across the table for what must have been the better half of ten minutes. Once the pounding in his head had slowly started to clear Tala tentatively began to sit up properly in his seat. His efforts rewarded him with two equally accusing glares from the silent duo. Confused at what he must have done to offend them he decided to just give them a small smile before beginning to pour himself a cup from the left over coffee pot in the middle of the table. This time he received confused looks.

Bryan was the first one to break the silence.

"Why are you drinking coffee?" He made it sound like his team captain had just committed the worst sin imaginable.

Tala glanced into his friend's eyes before replacing the site of the lilac haired boys face with the drink he had just made.

"I'm thirsty." He didn't know what else he could say. He wasn't in the mood for conversation and the looks that he was receiving were starting to make him feel uncomfortable.

Tala started sipping the slightly cold drink, looking anywhere rather than at the two boys faces.

"What did you take?" Tala's head whipped towards Kai's face. The bluenettes eyes were narrowed and were currently focused in his direction.

"Excuse me?" Tala started to panic and the grip on his cup tightened. Did Dickinson tell Kai that he was on medication? Did Kai know that he had taken more than he was supposed to?

He inwardly let out a sigh of relief when Kai pointed over in the direction of the medicine cabinet that he had previously raided.

"Why do you want to know Kai?" The red head challenged. Tala didn't know why he was suddenly getting so defensive. Didn't he want help, for someone to notice that he needed them? He reminded himself that he did want help but Kai was just not that person.

"Just some painkillers." He found himself saying, Kai gave him another long hard stare before he went back to completely ignoring his presence. Tala glanced in Bryans direction to find that he too had gone back to staring, both boys once again caught up in their silent communications.

For some reason this left Tala feeling hurt. Feelings of loneliness and abandon filled him until he felt like he was slowly being suffocated.

He had to get out of that room.

Unintentionally slamming his coffee cup on the table, Tala stood so quickly that his chair nearly went toppling toward the hard stone floor. Without hesitating to steady it he made a beeline out of the kitchen and to the front door. The only time he slowed down was to throw on his shoes before he disappeared out into the snow.

Back in the kitchen Bryan and Kai shared concerned glances. Both were standing at the window watching as Tala's retreating form was slowly consumed by the swirling snow.

"I see what you mean." Kai said. Slowly going over the previous conversation the two boys had just had in his mind.

Bryan faced Kai. He looked troubled. "I'm worried about him." His voice was quiet and red eyes widened slightly at Bryan's blatant show of emotions.

"Me too." Kai replied softly, so softly that the words went unheard by Bryan's ears.

Well, there you go. I hope everyone liked it. Next chapters going to be in Tala's POV, maybe Kai's.

I'm not the best at writing in third person so I'm going to see which turns out to be the best one to use.

Please review and tell me what you think. :)


	3. A hug?

Chapter three is here. I hope its ok, I decided to try and write in first person. So this is going to be in Tala's POV.

Thanks to everyone who reviewed. I love getting your opinions and any help will be appreciated. And I totally agree, Tala has been very, very stupid.

Disclaimer: I do not own Beblade.

Now, on with the story:

As soon as I stepped out into the snow I immediately began to feel calmer. It was like all of my pent up emotions and frustrations had just been sucked out of me. I guess that's why I like the snow so much. No matter how angry or how sad I feel the snow always has a calming effect on me. Maybe that's why I hate summer so much?

Unfortunately I think my feelings were fuelling my body and now that they were gone I was exhausted. I'm not talking about the 'I'm so tired I need my bed.' I mean the 'I'm so tired I'm going to collapse if I don't sit down right now.'

So that's why after five minute of wondering aimlessly around the house I decided to have a nice little lie down right in the middle of the back garden. I know it's not the best thing to do when the temperature is considerably below zero but like I said before, the cold doesn't bother me. It has the same effects on my body as everybody else's but at a slower rate. Basically thanks to Wolborg I can withstand colder temperatures for longer. Just like Kai and heat I suppose.

Searching through one of my many pockets in my trousers my hand finally rested upon my beyblade.

Wolborg was the only one who understood me. He knew what I needed and why I was feeling the way I was. If something ever happened to him, I don't know what I would do. Actually, to tell the truth, I know perfectly well what I would do but lets not get into that right now.

I just wish somebody else besides from Wolborg could understand me. Maybe my therapist was right, maybe I am lonely. Its not like I've ever been loved by anyone before, except maybe by Boris but who in the right mind would want that kind of love? Still, was that the only love that people were capable of giving me?

I love my team but sometimes, I think they only put up with me because I'm their captain.

If Boris hadn't created the demolition boys, would we even know each other? I strongly doubted it. Why would anyone ever want to hang around with me? I'm not exactly the most interesting person and I have nothing to offer them.

A shiver suddenly wracked through my body and I began to notice that my clothes were completely soaked through. Well I did forget to put a coat on so it was to be expected but why am I feeling the cold so quickly?

Glancing at my bitbeast I couldn't help but be confused. Why was wolborg not helping me? Letting out a sigh I shoved my beyblade back into my pocket. Instead of contemplating the fact that my only true friend had just deserted me, I ended up staring up into the sky, watching as the snowflakes drifted closer and closer towards my unmoving body.

I must have been really deep in thought because suddenly I could hear laughter getting closer and closer to my current position. I turned my head in the direction that the sound was coming from and the next thing I knew, Spencer and Ian were gazing at me, confusion glittering in their eyes.

"Tal, what are you doing on the floor?"

I looked up at Spencer and he looked down at me. When our eyes met I gave him a smile and replied that I was making snow angels. With that comment I suddenly began opening and closing my arms and legs, hiding the fact that they were almost numb with cold before standing up and looking down at my work with forced pride. To my surprise I noticed that I was swaying, my legs felt like jelly, and I couldn't seem to control my movements. Thankfully, nobody seemed to notice.

Ian started laughing before running off to make his own snow angels but Spencer's gaze was unwavering.

"Why haven't you got a coat on?" Not giving me a chance to reply he started tittering like a hen and before I knew what was happening he had gathered me in his arms and started giving me a hug.

"God Tal, you're so pale, and you're soaked, why are you so wet?" I wasn't sure whether he wanted me to reply or not, after all it was pretty obvious. He did just find me lying in the snow. He pulled away and held me at arms length. His expression demanded an answer. I was too confused by contemplating why Spencer was hugging me to give a sensible reply so I just said the first thing that I could think of.

"You know me Spencer, I don't feel the cold."

I knew I was lying as soon as the words left my mouth. I didn't usually feel the cold but today seemed to be an exception. I think Spencer knew this too because he unwrapped his scarf and gently placed it around my neck, he then shrugged himself out of his coat and put it around my shoulders. Then he began hugging me, again.

I was completely lost. What was I supposed to do? I'd never really been hugged before and I found myself feeling strangely safe in Spencer's embrace. I didn't want to pull away so instead I just stood there as Spencer held me tightly to his body, my head tucked underneath his chin. He only pulled away when Ian ran up to us and started begging for a snowball fight.

"Maybe later Ian, Tala needs to go inside and warm up." Spencer left no room for protest and I was left wondering who the captain was supposed to be here but one look at Ian's expression left me feeling guilty. The kid looked crushed.

"You know Spence, one snowball fight isn't really going to hurt anyone."

I looked at Spencer who in turn looked at Ian who was shooting me a grateful look for my added support. Spencer shot a disapproving glance in my direction but his steely resolve stayed in place.

"Later Ian."

With that said Spencer began herding us to the front door. I watched as Ian walked ahead but I found it hard to concentrate on his moving figure. It was like he was flickering from side to side. I shook my head and looked at him again but nothing changed. It was almost like I was watching him from under water. I began to notice that I was feeling rather light-headed.

"Are you ok?"

I glanced at Spencer's mouth. I must have looked really out of it but I couldn't bring myself to care. I could have sworn that I had just heard his sentence finish before his mouth stopped moving

Spencer gave me a hard look before he grabbed my arm and began pulling me along, holding me closely to his body, I think I was swaying because he kept giving me these really concerned looks.

What was wrong with me? Maybe the pills were finally having an effect, or maybe I was just cold. No, I was pretty sure it was the pills. Maybe I shouldn't have taken as many as I did.

I felt like I was drunk, and I couldn't help but find the situation hilarious and this was what worried me because lately I hadn't really been finding anything funny.

I hope you liked it. Which do you guys prefer, third person or from the characters POV?

I think if everyone liked this style of writing then the next chapters will be with Tala's POV and chapter four with Kai's POV.

So review and let me know. : )

Thank you.


	4. overdose

I'm back. Sorry it's been so long, I've got some really evil exams coming up so I've been distracted by lots of revision, but here's a new chapter yay.

Disclaimer: See first chapter.

Thanks to everyone who reviewed my story, I hope this chapter is ok.

**Kuja's kittikat**: I might go back to third person, at the moment I'm just experimenting. I'm

glad you like the story and I'm happy to say that I finally updated.

**ElizaDus**: Thanks, I'm glad you like the story, I hope you like this chapter too!

**Fire vixon**: Hey, I'm glad you liked it, I always think I'm really bad at description, I'm really lazy and always tend to be brief. This stories in first person so hopefully it'l be better than previous chapters

Fiver: I hope you like this chappie, things are going to get worse for tala before they get better. 

**Indigotwilight:** It's defiantly going to end up as a KaiXTala but their may be a few relationships before they eventually get together.

**Zutsu:** I'm really happy that you like it! I hope you like this one even better

**Lena: **Here's the update, I hope you enjoy!

Thanks everyone who took time to review, I love reading them. Sorry I havn't thanked everyone who reviewed to my other chapters though but I'd like to give you all a big thankyou.

So anyway, here it is. ENJOY!

* * *

Spencer made sure that I had safely gotten into my room before he reluctantly left me alone, I guess he thought that in my current condition I was going to walk into one of the walls and knock myself out. However, I didn't really want him standing there as I changed into some dry clothes. That was why he was on the receiving end of one of my 'really, I'm fine' smiles.

Once I was on my own I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding and slumped to the floor, right where my team mate had left me standing. It felt like all my energy had been sucked out of me, however on the plus side I felt, how could I put this… almost as if I was buzzing?

I felt warm and tingly and for the first time in ages I felt comfortable in my own skin and that was weird. I felt like the rest of the world had slowed down around me and I was just drifting along. I wasn't worried about anything and all the tension that had been building up slowly inside of me during the past weeks was slowly dripping away. Kind of like how my clothes were dripping onto the floor.

I forced myself to my feet and slowly walked to my cupboard, to tell the truth I actually staggered, it seemed as if I was only capable of walking in zigzags. I felt a bubble of laughter gathering in my throat but I forced it back, I bet Spencer was hovering on the other side of my door just listening for an excuse to burst in. He truly was a mother hen. I made it to my old mahogany cupboard just before an image of Spencer dressed as a chicken entered my warped mind and I burst into giggles. The thought of him clucking hit me in quick succession and just about finished me off. I once again hit the deck and Spencer's alarmed voice sounded through the door.

"Tala, are you ok, do you want me to come in?"

I tried to stop those traitorous giggles to give him a reply, I really did but the mere thought of Spencer just made me laugh all the harder. Pretty soon I was laughing so much that I was finding it hard to breathe. I few seconds later I found myself lying on the cold floor gasping for breath.

"Tala!"

I managed to calm down enough to talk and after a few seconds I quickly told him what he wanted to hear. That everything was fine and that I wasn't going to die.

His reply was a grudging acceptance and a few moments later I could hear the slow retreat of his familiar footsteps down the corridor.

Well, that was unnaturally easy, my rapidly clouding brain supplied before an old saying popped into my head.

Don't count your chickens.

Needless to say I rapidly dissolved back into laughter.

* * *

I don't know how much time had passed but I was now lying on my bed, with dry clothes on and staying as still as possible. It felt like my body was pulsing to an imaginary beat.

I was intoxicated.

Every colour in the room was vivid and vibrant, and the corners of my vision sparkled. I held my arm in the air and slowly moved it side to side. My eyes were giving me a delayed reaction and the result was a visionary masterpiece. Instead of having one arm I had numerous and they all kept swaying, moving to the farthest reaches of my sight, giving me a never-ending wave.

I dropped my arm over my eyes and sighed in content. The noise echoed around me, adding to my imaginary music. Everything was beautiful. Every sound, every image, every scent. Hell, I even found myself beautiful at the moment, and if I could find the most ugly and tainted person in the world beautiful then I never wanted my current mood to end.

Nothing seemed to matter. I had no worries or pressures to bring me down and right now I was floating. My very soul seemed to be soaring and I felt like I was wrapped in a blanket of warmth and love. Nothing could touch me, It felt like I was finally free but like all good things I knew that this feeling wasn't going to last forever. Pretty soon I was going to go back to feeling how I did before. Unloved and hopeless. Disgusted in myself, and that's the truth, I hated myself, what I had let others do to me and what I had become. I didn't know how the others put up with me, how Spencer could bring himself to hug me. No, I couldn't, wouldn't go back to feeling like that!

_  
Somewhere in the distance a voice called my name for dinner._

And then it came to me, I knew what I could do, what I had to do. I don't know why I never thought of it before. After a bit of wild scrabbling and some misjudging on my part I finally had my bedside draw open and the answer to all of my problems was lying in my hands. The little brown bottle seemed to be glowing and when I popped the lid and poured the blue and white capsules into my slightly trembling hand they made a tinkering sound that seemed to reverberate around my room.

"_Tala, dinner's ready!" That voice again._

"_Coming." I replied distractedly._

I counted either six or seven; I couldn't be sure as my sight kept wavering. Maybe there were eight? I didn't bother putting the lid back on the bottle, I threw it haphazardly onto my bed and with my hand now free I grabbed the glass of water that was still present on my bedside cabinet. I didn't want to think too much about what I was about to do because then I might convince myself not to do it. I'm sure nothing drastic was going to happen. The others would probably think I was just being slightly ditzy today, no harm in that right? And then I would probably just sleep it off later.

I dropped the coloured pills into my mouth and then took a large gulp of water, it took a few tries but eventually I managed to swallow them all. A wave of relief flooded through me and I rose shakily to my feet.

I walked slowly to the mirror against my wall and stared at myself. A gentle smile was gracing my lips and for once I actually looked happy.

"_Tala, dinner's getting cold!" _

Come to think of it, I was a bit hungry. I swayed out of my bedroom, trailing my hand against the wall so I wouldn't fall over and slowly made my way downstairs. My world sparkled once more and my senses were heightened. A small chuckle escaped my mouth as I made my way to the kitchen, smells like chicken, I thought in glee.

* * *

Well I hope everyone enjoyed the story, and remember Tala's not exactly thinking straight at the moment.

Next chapter is going to be in Tala's POV and the one after that in Kai's. I think it's safe to say that a hospital visit is defiantly going to be needed!

So please review and tell me what you think and I'll try to update as soon as possible!


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